Blog Post #9, "Rites of Passage"

Poem:

Rites of Passage by Sharon Olds

As the guests arrive at our son’s party   

they gather in the living room—

short men, men in first grade

with smooth jaws and chins.

Hands in pockets, they stand around

jostling, jockeying for place, small fights

breaking out and calming. One says to another

How old are you? —Six. —I’m seven. —So?

They eye each other, seeing themselves   

tiny in the other’s pupils. They clear their   

throats a lot, a room of small bankers,

they fold their arms and frown. I could beat you

up, a seven says to a six,

the midnight cake, round and heavy as a

turret behind them on the table. My son,

freckles like specks of nutmeg on his cheeks,   

chest narrow as the balsa keel of a   

model boat, long hands

cool and thin as the day they guided him   

out of me, speaks up as a host

for the sake of the group.

We could easily kill a two-year-old,

he says in his clear voice. The other   

men agree, they clear their throats

like Generals, they relax and get down to   

playing war, celebrating my son’s life.

Response:

So this poem is basically about a first grade boy celebrating his birthday in a room filled with friends. From the title, it can be determined that the poem is about some kind of rite of passage, the transition from one phase of life to another. After reading the poem, I think this transition could possibly be the passage from boyhood into adulthood. This is odd to say, considering these are six and seven year olds, but their actions could be mirroring this transition, or at least be imitating it. The behavior the boys are displaying, particularly the description of this behavior, is resonant with males much older, drifting into becoming working adults. For example, "They clear their throats a lot, a room of small bankers, they fold their arms and frown" displays behavior that might normally be attributed to older people (especially with the help of "small bankers" as a descriptor). "Small bankers" especially adds to the feeling of these boys at least imitating this journey into adulthood, by assigning the boys a role that they're acting out, and the 'small" separates them from the occupation, makes them seem different from just a "normal" banker. The line "speaks up as a host for the sake of the group" also gives off a more "adult" feeling, as you have someone stepping out as leader and making their voice heard, and being a "host."I also think part of this passage communicates the propensity (I'd say more the inclination vs the natural tendency tbh bc I personally think a lot of it is nurture and society raising men to believe it's totally okay for them to be violent and in fact teaching them that it's manly to be violent) towards violence in men and this allowance of letting boys grow up believing that this is the behavior expected of them. Kids tend to mirror the behavior they see, hence their body language (the folding of the arms, clearing their throats), but also these ideas. They're surrounded by men all the time who probably also feel like they need to be violent or have been taught to be violent and the kids are mirroring that behavior and it shows boys being taught to be so violent and war hungry since a small age. This is their rite of passage, this violence is a sign of their growing up and embracing theworld around them. The line "they relax and get down to playing war" suggests further this passivity regarding violence and how lightly it's often regarded, hence the "relax." It is implying that playing war, war being an intensely emotionally, mentally, and physically violent environment, is relaxing for the boys. But yeah, I think the poem addresses how part of "growing up" for men often involves developing this violent nature that becomes regarded as normal, and that it is developed at a very young age, and is so normal in fact, that it is used as a "celebration" in this context.